Rethinking 1:1 Meetings as Love in Action
By Terre Short
When you picture “love at work,” it’s likely that one-on-one meetings aren’t the first thing that comes to mind. Yet, if we look closely, a truly well-organized 1:1—anchored in thoughtful preparation and sincere engagement—might be one of the most tangible expressions of love in the workplace. Not romantic love, of course, but the kind of love rooted in respect, compassion, interest, and a commitment to another person’s growth. It is the time and place to show you truly care.
Leadership isn’t about titles or authority; it’s about stewardship. The 1:1 meeting is where that stewardship becomes visible. It’s where leaders demonstrate self-love—by preparing to serve well and leverage their strengths — and where they practice love for their team, by creating a space for recognition, listening, and development. In these moments, love is less a feeling and more an actionable verb.
Self-Love in Leadership: The Gift of Preparation
Let’s start with a truth rarely spoken aloud: a well-organized 1:1 meeting is a gift that starts with the leader. Self-love, a deep acknowledgement of who you are, what you are capable of contributing, and what you value, is the best place to begin.
A leader who sets aside time, reviews notes, and plans thoughtful questions isn’t just checking a box. They are honoring their own role—preparing themselves to serve, guide, and support. This is self-love in leadership: choosing to be present, prepared, and purposeful. It’s about making room for genuine connection, for seeing and hearing the other person. Such a centered approach fuels your ability to give generously to others. This is showing up as your best self.
The Six Dimensions of Caring for Those You Serve: The TLC 1:1 Framework
The TLC 1:1 Meeting Framework is a map for love-in-action. Each prompt is a doorway into deeper understanding, trust, and partnership. Let’s look at each element as an expression of care.
- Personal: “Tell me about your weekend. How did you refresh yourself?”
Starting with a personal topic isn’t just small talk; it’s a recognition of the whole human in front of you. When you ask about someone’s weekend or their wellbeing goals, you are saying: “You matter to me beyond your output.”
- Wins: “What are you most proud of this week? What can we celebrate since we last met?”
Celebrating wins is an act of recognition. It’s the leader’s way of saying, “I see your efforts. I notice your progress.” When leaders ask, “What’s a win since we last spoke?” they aren’t tracking progress, they’re honoring the journey. They are acknowledging the strengths and values that are important to their direct report.
- Recognition: “Is there someone I can recognize on your behalf?”
This is where love grows roots. Leaders who actively seek to harvest recognition—who ask about colleagues deserving gratitude—are modeling humility and generosity. They are intentionally building a culture of gratitude and respect.
- Challenges/Obstacles: “What keeps you up at night? What do you perceive is at risk for your book of business?”
It takes courage to invite vulnerability. By asking about obstacles, a leader demonstrates trust and psychological safety. You are saying, it is okay to have challenges and together we will overcome them. The more you ask in this manner, the more safe it will feel for your direct report to share candidly with you. You are encouraging a loving, learning environment. When coaching opportunities arise, you will have cultivated the trust necessary for your guidance to resonate.
- Support: “How can I help you solve for this challenge? What solutions have you considered?”
Support isn’t about rescuing; it’s about empowering. A loving leader asks, “What clarity can I provide?” or “What do you need from me to do your best work?” Your job is to help your direct report find solutions, which may mean batting some ideas around together. It is always best to create space for their ideas even if you have handled this challenge a million times – this is how they learn and what connects them to the desired outcome.
- Actions: “What happens next and by when? What next steps do you have based on this conversation?”
Closing with clear actions respects everyone’s time and commitment. It’s a way of saying, “What we discuss matters enough to track and follow through.” Accountability is a heart-centered strategy for connecting contributions to the overall mission and values of your organization.
Respect, Recognition, and Development: Forms of Love at Work
When we talk about love in leadership, we aren’t talking about sentimentality. We’re talking about respect—about seeing someone’s unique value. We’re talking about recognition—about making visible the invisible labor that drives results. We’re talking about skill development—about investing in someone’s future as if it were our own.
The Leader’s Mirror: Love Reflects Both Ways
It’s easy to forget that leadership is reciprocal. When a leader brings love to a 1:1 meeting—through preparation, presence, questions, and follow-through—the benefits aren’t just for your direct report. The leader grows too. Every act of love, every moment of genuine connection, is a small investment in the leader’s own development and wellbeing.
Preparing for a 1:1 isn’t just about serving another; it’s also about honoring your role, your purpose, and your humanity. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Leaders who care for themselves—through preparation, reflection, and self-compassion—are more able to care for others. See previous article on the connection between self-compassion and recognition of the efforts of others.
Let’s ground this in practical steps. Here’s how to bring more love into your 1:1s:
- Prepare with Purpose: Review notes, reflect on past conversations, and tailor your questions to the individual.
- Begin with the Person, Not the Task: Ask about wellbeing, interests, and personal wins before diving into business.
- Recognize and Celebrate: Make time to celebrate even small victories, and amplify gratitude across the team.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Replace advice-giving with curiosity. Use “what,” “how,” or “tell me…” to open up dialogue.
- Listen Generously: Give your full attention. Listening is an act of love.
- Support, Don’t Solve: Offer partnership and guidance, and empower others to find their own solutions.
- Agree on Actions: Clarify commitments and follow up. Reliability builds trust.
- Reflect on Your Own Growth: After each meeting, note what you learned about your team member and yourself.
Love Leaves a Legacy
In the end, the legacy of leadership isn’t built in grand gestures or quarterly reports—it’s built one conversation at a time. Every well-organized 1:1 meeting is a chance to show love in action: to see, to hear, to recognize, and to develop another human being. It’s a space where leaders can model self-love through preparation and presence, and can offer respect, recognition, and development as gifts wrapped in interest and compassion.
So next time you sit down for a 1:1, ask yourself: What would love look like in this moment? Then prepare, listen, and ask with an open heart. The most important work we do is the work we do together—one conversation, one act of caring at a time. That’s the kind of leadership that endures.
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Terre Short is a best-selling author, executive leadership coach, dynamic speaker and learning experience creator who connects from her heart.
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